June: Strife. (PART 1)

Dear blog,
After May, the month where flowers bloom, come June. June is usually as cheerful as May, but this year June means fight. When June comes, the first thing came to my mind is The India themed International Children Day. Why? For God's sake, I'm the leader. Preparation should hava finished on May, but no, it didn't happen. Deadlines are only an ignored sign in my workplace. I work as a halftime teacher, it means my work time is started in the afternoon and I am not willing to come in the morning unless it's paid attendance. To keep it professionally. So I can not attend morning meetings, where the event is talked about. And I was not forced to do so. I have a co-coordinator who works full time. As a team we often talk about our preparation, but it was me who made all the preparation checklist, list of Person In Charge, and all those file-things. And I'm okay with that. What surprised me was she didn't even print it out and present it at the meetings. Printed and formally written things are not a culture in my workplace, but someone did it for you, you just have to take the credit. Of course I didn't CC those paperworks to the manager, because it's supposed to be internal between me and my co-coordinator, right? When both of us finished working things out, then I should report to the manager. But all of her jobs were left undone. None of it is finished. Even I ended up buying things she should provide, because I couldn't wait too long. Like the parchment paper, various kind of containers for the cooking session, but she worked on things that were not assigned for her.

So my manager thought I had not done anything. Or appeared to be so. When I showed her my files, she was surprised and said none of it was presented in meetings. My co-coordinator is someone who is feared in the office. Because: 1.She is the most senior staff, 2. People are stupid. So because she has that predicate, I asked her kindly to "check" the job of one teacher, who is verly likely not getting it done. While I will check the rest of the P.I.Cs. But she didn't do me that favor. In short, I can say she did NOTHING. For India-ICD. I really did not expect this. I thought she was a hardworker. Maybe even my manager did not anticipate this.

On another story, I grew quite a nice bonding with the rest of the staffs since we danced. Dance just makes everyone happy, and oh, I should give credit to my co-coordinator for making the bell bangles. She volunteered herself to make our legs bangles. I ran a meeting with all of the staffs (minus the manager and the boss) to explain my rundown for India and their jobdesc at D-Day. Everyone understood and contribute opinions or asked questions. Even morning meetings are rarely that dynamic. Maybe because they feel even with me, while they feel inferior to the manager and the boss so when these two ran the meeting, there was just SILENCE.

I gave easy jobs to others (just in case they didn't do it well, I can fix it) and take the more time-consuming jobs for myself like choosing the song, making the flyer, flashcards for Language Arts session and -- making the flow of activities. My co just acted like a boss, asking me if things are finished while I barely can ask her if her things are finished.

I ended up preparing everything alone, checking the list of the necessary stuffs, kept on coming to Ms.Dian, asking for money :D

In between the preparation for the big day, Boss made another program: Summer Course Holiday Program! And this is where the horror begins. I was chosen as the coordinator of Art&Craft session, together with my co in India event. Paired with her, again. At first, things were fine and I really didn't anticipate that hell would break loose. She was stressed over something else, that is another task for her from the manager -- that she failed to finish at due date, so for Day 1 of the Summer Course, that is June 15, I worked the Art&Craft alone, I made 17 rings from styrofoam plates, painted them over the weekend, and felt upset because I knew I should not work it all by myself - even if I'm able to.

I'm proud of my work, though.

I went to office on Sunday. I never want to visit a daily-duty place on duty-off days, but I did on June 14th, because things felt so out-of-control and I wanted to make sure I won't be a part of that chaos. I met my manager that day, on Sunday. She was in her room, also preparing things. It was funny that she said "I suddenly had a thought of you, out of nowhere, I even thought maybe I should call, but here you are."

So on Monday, I was bullied by my co-coordinator who did nothing. I don't want to write it here since I have written it extensively in my personal note that I can use for next collegue comments. Like a normal experience of being bullied, I didn't know it was bullying. I did not react, I just felt really angry that my hands were shaking.I did not react because I didn't know if I was right or wrong, until I told it objectively to the manager and she made it clear that it was bullying and it was not the first time. She is a famous bully of the club. So then I strifed. Once I know that I'm in the right sideof thing, I had no fear. I was far from furious, though. I talked calmly to her and she kept of blaming me, pointing to my faults (that were not faults) and it was ridiculously easy to see that she has a problem with herself, that even her mind can not systematically put events and arguments orderly. So I won over it. And again this worths to remember. It was not the victory that counts, but choosing to face a problem instead of running away from it -- that counts.

I told the manager that I can not work under unnecessary pressure like being bullied, so I begged her to pair me with someone else, even if that someone won't work at all it's okay, Imma work by myself. She agreed and kicked her out of the ArtnCraft team and she got so furious about that.


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