2015 at a glance

Of course this is another lie to lead people think I can explain things at a glance. But I will try.

I started 2015 by working in Pingu as a teacher. I am thankful that I got a job which allows me to work half day due to my campus schedule. After a year doing freelance writing, being a teacher again made a crack to my cocoon. I learned more than I ever did -- of how to communicate with children and how to literally have fun with them.

2015 was also the year that made me a Master of Ceremony. It all started with Pingu event, Show n Tell, where every teacher got the MC role at different times. The number of the audience could vary depends on how many students have class that time. I got the schedule when the students are many so I thought of strategies how to not make it chaotic :D I also watched other teachers when they are being the MC and from watching I got what's good to do and what's not. So that evening I walked to the stage (Damn I felt nervous even though it was just a tiny stage at Pingu Land) and nailed it! The students were engaged almost all the time, they screamed to answer my questions, and the contestants were well appreciated. I made them listen to what the contestants say when they were performing by making it a quiz (with presents!). My manager and boss liked the way I turn up the event and since then I am always assigned to be MC (duh...)
Only in India event I was not chosen to be the MC because I was the coordinator. What crazy was, at my campus event, I was also asked to be the MC. It's totally out of the blue. They did not know me well enough and we only had limited interactions and I even left the Whats App group. It was an event to celebrate Magnis Suseno, our lecturer, for being awarded by President Jokowi. I wanted to refuse but well, I like Franz Magnis Suseno, and I did not contribute anything to the event. I was just asked to be the MC. So there I was, nervous but acting cool, and probably I sounded like I was relaxed. On my way to the gate after the event, I passed him by and he said "Thank you" with a smile. It means a lot to me. Another lecturer gave me compliment for having talent to be an MC. It made me laugh somehow.

In 2015 I got sick a lot, and I think most of it because I could not handle my feelings. I rarely slept peacefully and it breaks havoc on my health. I remember lower back pain that hurt really bad, out of the blue. I went to doctor and fortunately the painkiller works magic. She said it was pulled nerve. In another day I got a fever that was not too high but I could barely stand up. I went home from work all aching and wrecked. I remember my parents took care of me really well that night. They rarely do that. That lower back pain came together with bladder infection from holding pee too long due to teaching kids. Duh ~ Now I don't do it anymore. I'd rather have my class chaos for the next 30 minutes than me getting bladder infection. ;) Besides of my sick moments, I experienced programming an event and coordinating it (India Day) -- which I already reported in another posting.

I have a new friend this year, yeay finally something good. We met in Pingu after Miss Eka left her work without any further notice. Her name is Adisti, an aquarius girl. Very talkative, young, high-spirited, and most importantly is she is weird. We laughed about almost everything we can talk about and when I'm with her in yellow room that class is just loud with our indecent laughs. I told her about my friend 

Nique, showed her the garden photos she posts on Path, and turned out that her "spiritual teacher" is Nique's brother. Hahahahaha!!! She was shocked and I laughed to tears when it was revealed. Too bad that she only stayed for 3 months and I definitely felt down when she left for she was the only one who can comprehend my weirdness. This girl is important! She introduced me to her favorite musician and successfully made me in love with the songs. It's Alina Baraz & Galimatias, and Oh Wonder. She enjoys traveling and she reads a lot. Shortly saying, it's really nice to be around her.

Along with her coming to Pingu, in August I made a step out of my comfort zone: that is attending Ms.Andara and Mr.Davit Fitrik's dance workshop. I just decided not to have that dance scene again, at least not with the people I knew. I know it sounds really off, like, why? But I wanted something new, I wanted to come clean. So that Saturday after Pingu I came to Ms.Andara's new studio that is near my office and she was literally screaming when she saw me. It's like a very long time since the last time we met. She said I'm so fat though :( So she just graduated from her master degree in dance at PARTS, Brussels. As it was supposed to be, I was proposed or you can say forced to join the regular class. In the workshop of course I failed as usual hahah. I was doing just fine before the partnering-part. And even though it was hard as hell (the choreography), can not resist to admit that I fell to that feeling again. When I dance, there is this deep-unknown feeling where I find a release,where I don't get it from anything else. I can say the atmosphere of this newborn school is different with my previous dance school though, the one where I met Ms.Andara. When she asked me which class I would like to join, I spontaneously asked which class does Mr.Davit teach, and Imma join that. It was an honest answer, a bitter yet humorous answer. It reveals how she still leaves "killer teacher" impression in my mind until the end of time. :D :D The next day after the workshop I really could not move from bed. My body was stiff as a statue.

Workshop at The School of Movement

Another important event in my 2015 was philosophy presentation. It was a lengthly presentation, 40 minutes what do you say?? 40 minutes explaining, 30 minutes answering questions from the class, it's just the same like taking over the class while the lecturer will just be a calm moderator. So let's say the class has approximately 40 students. The lecturer made us taking a rolled paper-cut in a jar, like lottery. In the paper it's the number of our turn to do presentation. Everyone gets a number, but only number 1-10 that will do presentation and write paper assignment while the rest will  just do the paper assignment. And I got fucking number 1. In my head I was screaming but I believe nothing is coincidence. The whole universe has conspired to do this and I must walk in, like a warrior. You might say I sound hyperbolic but this is how my mind works and this is how I endure things that happen to me out of choices. To get first turn is indeed challenging, because it means you won't get any example of how to do it. Instead, you are the one who gives example, who set the standard. And as a newbie, I'll do it in front of them who mostly came from philosophy degree. I got like 2 weeks or so to prepare. I chose Maurice Merleau-Ponty because he talked about the body and I live it ;)
I had one week of no sleep. Skipping classes to prepare for that 30 September.

So, the day finally came and near the moment I felt like I was going to pass out. Really. No exaggerating. That was scary. I even was calmer when I was heading to final compre. in my bachelor degree.The content of my presentation might be not perfect (who wants perfection, anyway?) but I can say, now, the way I did the presentation was way better than almost all the rest. I did not read my paper during presentation, my power point really shows pointers of what I was saying instead of paragraphs or long sentences; and I make sure the audiences were engaged -- since I was walking around during the presentation. It was really fucking nerve-cracking event I had in 2015. When I finished, classmates came to me while I was tidying up my laptop, charger, and stuffs. They gave me hand shakes! Hahahahah! And after the presentation I really felt like a big burden had been lifted out of my shoulders. I was instantly in heaven. Since then, people (seniors that I did not know before) started to make interactions with me and what made me ecstatic was even weeks after my presentation, people still came to me saying that my presentation somewhat impressive. I was happy not in the sense of proud, but touched. So hard work really pays. If I remember my sleepless nights I want to cry. It hurt to not sleep well for weeks and reading Phenomenology of Perception itself hurt my fucking brain. But I did not give up and I deserve what I get later. After the Contemporary Philosophy there were still presentations coming but at least it was like 10-15 minutes presentation not 40 minutes.

There is this subject that met me again with my lecturer from IKJ, whom I also worked as his secretary in 2013:  Philosophy of Art; Aesthetics. It was totally pleasing to talk about art philosophically. And from the discussions in class I see that these people really have no idea of art. They thought art is a form of thought, another -ism, they see art as a political tool, and I was like goddamn it.... am I stupid or are they blind? LOL. He gave me a ride to Grand Indonesia after his classes and in the car we talked about many things, mostly of course about how we both think that these people are nuts. For this subject, we were given choices of the philosophers for us to explain in presentation. I chose Merleau-Ponty but a guy who had written a thesis about Merleau-Ponty chose it too and my lecturer suggested me to take Gilles Deleuze.


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