Recital 2016

Before January ends I better write this. So I have campus holiday for one full month and on January 23 the dance school I am in had its first recital. I have joined this School of Movement since September 2015. It is the continuation of the dance workshop I attended on August 28. I joined Lyrical Contemporary class as an attempt to avoid Miss Andara (but the teacher was absent for several times so I had sessions with Ms.Andara). But finally one Sunday, the first meeting I had with the teacher was straight 2 hours. His name is Davit Fitrik, a senior dancer from Gumarang Sakti Dance Company. I actually don't care where he came from. I was going to pass out from that 2 hours dance class. Miss Andara might be brain-burdening but this guy killed my body. He made me work out at the barre, my thigh muscles were all stretched and I was sweating like crazy. I was alone. I had no classmate so you can imagine how intense it was. After the killer warm up, he gave a choreography -- supposedly for recital. The choreography was...beautiful. It was not easy but I was so happy doing it. He asked me to imagine something like a precious memory while dancing and it did felt and look (he said) different. So that was our first meeting. He recorded me with my camera and after the class we watched the video together with his wife and she said it's quite good...for a first timer. It gave me hope. The second class really hurt. I feel like I have no dancer-muscle especially in my thighs where he wants me to kick high. He also tried to open my hips and it hurt like hell. Back from the practice I got ill. I remember after the practice we had a chit chat with my sister too, at the backyard. He was telling about the martial arts of his hometown. But at the end he looked at me and tell me to keep my spirit up. I know he knew I was wrecked that day. The next meeting I could not come. I was down with a heavy flu and fever. I actually felt really bad for not coming. I danced alone in my room because I could not help feeling not dancing when I actually wanted to.

The next meeting my dance partner Icha already joined and we practiced together. Dancing with her is quite challenging since she has learned a lot. She memorizes routines faster than she did years ago while I made many mistakes. I have my solo part and she has hers. Another day, my teacher made fast and flowing choreo for both of us and that Saturday I got injured. This was when the nightmare started. I got injured in the upper left thigh. I could not move my left leg at all except I moved it with my hand. The next day my thigh swelled. It was painful for days. My daily movements was limited by it. Even just getting up from laying down hurt. It was straight hell. Not only physical pain, psychologically I was crunched. I felt like a failure. I was afraid my teacher give up on me. I feared of  not being able to dance anymore. I had massage, went to doctor, nothing seemed to work. I kept in touch with my facebook friend Jerry and he said stuffs about muscle strain based on his knowledge in Ayahuasca wisdom. It is related with mental and emotional statement and from what he said yes I was on that emotional situation before the strain happened. So what I did was working on healing my soul, instead of my body. I wrote every night. On paper. I stood in rain. I danced, still. Recital dance practice was off for 3 weeks due to Christmas and New Year holiday.

And then when the practice started again, I greeted my teacher happy new year and he hugged me. We sat at the backyard, smoking. He said he was thinking of changing concepts. It was Day-20. I showed him my instagram, showed him my #100dayimprovchallenge videos, more exactly the ones I recorded at the studio, using "All We Do" song by Oh Wonder, and it was recorded when my injury was still really bad. I can not forget his expression when he was watching. He said "You really look different in this video. You dance really nicely, unlike in our classes. You surprise me!" After that he decided that I would dance my own choreo and Icha too - before our duet part. So I used the moves I did on three instagram videos of my improvisation. It felt wonderful for me. It is an honor, and I am so grateful I decided to dance that time, with my badly injured muscle. The next practice Icha came late so my teacher started first with me. He worked on polishing my solo part and he pushed me to be better. He worked on the details and flow. I repeated the movements for I don't know how many times. I felt very tired but equally very motivated as well. And that was the start of me coming almost every day to studio whether there was my teacher or not. Every day in Pingu if someone asked where I headed to after work, I answered "the studio." and they started thinking I have no life. It would be just 5 minutes on the stage, for God's sake, 5 minutes. Don't you wanna make it as good as you can? There was bombing terror at Sarinah and Tangerang was said to be the next target that day and that did not fuckin affect me. I called the studio asking if it is opened. Once I knew they're open I came. I practiced alone, clueless of what I should work on...

The next days, I remember it was January 20, on Wednesday I should have done a run through with Icha -- with my teacher watching and revising. But Icha was so busy preparing birthday surprise for Miss Andara that it ended up me practicing alone under the supervision of two teachers: Davit and Andara. I showed that I was scared and they had a little fun of it. Ms.Andara asked a rhetoric question if I wanted to dance nicely or not. So that's the story of having fear over something but doing it anyway. It was actually PRECIOUS, PRESTIGE, and ONE OF A KIND opportunity to be mentored by Davit and Andara at the same time. Alone. They worked ON MY SOLO PART! They corrected me on the details and some moves that were easy to do became hard once it is corrected. I pushed. I was not there to waste an expensive moment like that. I was not there for "not bad". I pushed to be good. So on the stage, if it was not good enough I am sorry, but if it is good the credit goes to those two teachers. Eventually after the show ended, people, like so many people came to me and congratulated. They said it was really cool. Yes, even people that I don't know.  The students' parents, for example. I did not know what to say or how to react. I can not believe anyone until my teacher told me it was great, then I felt so peaceful. It makes me in ease knowing that he, who put so much hardwork to invest in me, his student, finally feel satisfied. Because I never felt so trusted before. I never felt so convinced and treasured. Too bad we didn't take pictures together so I can not post it here. But here are some photos of that moment:


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