All That Passed

Hello, hello blog,
2016 is actually pretty cool, such a roller coaster (oh my, typical Gemini word). After the Dance Prix competition, I had no rest from dancing. The SOM took part in Jakarta Dance Carnival, a World Dance Day celebration held by IKJ Dance Faculty. So I came often to practice with a bunch of lovely, friendly people named: Yarra, Tiwi, Heidy, Tita, Putri, and the choreographer which is my teacher Kak Davit, one of the best dancers in the world but sedikit jahat. Meanwhile, in office things get tensed up. I was assigned to lead a field trip project for Advance classes. Before, Nabilah, my partner, and I already planned a field trip to an outbond place where kids can just have fun, connect with nature, and do a writing project about it later. But the manager changed it to a more international-taste outing so we sent proposal letters to Asean Secretariat, The Japan Foundation, European Union, and places like that. For your information, they only open on working days so we had to decide days where the kids can join without disturbing their school hours. And that was just crazy. My partner didn't really help, not because she didn't want to, but because she had no idea where to start. I was just as fucked up as she was. I called the parents and they didn't know their kids school academic calendar. Long story short, I was shouted and called:
1. unprofessional
2. look like I didn't have God
3. No Action Talk Only -- because last year I had many ideas of how the office should be and then the next year I lose enthusiasm (because you guys are fuckers and I couldn't wait to leave the place)

For God's sake I was only a half-time worker and you assigned me to lead this, to lead that. But that has passed, let it pass. I was under a lot of stress and going to dance was my MEDICATION. I was just in the verge of breaking down with translation job I took to pay school, with mounting school paper assignments, and the-no hope-FIELD TRIP Project. I was really at the bottom of a big stone and no one saw that (except Nabilah, I guess...). I don't want to dance. I NEED TO DANCE. I was willing to lose breath in the midst of choreography because I gave my 100% power like an Energizer Rabbit. I was given a solo part and it made me so happy. I practiced my solo everyday at home, when I was boiling water, waiting for the bathroom to be unoccupied, before I sleep, and sometimes my cats got kicked accidentally.

I experienced not sleeping for 24 hours due to working on translation deadline and I thought I was going to get heart attack in the morning. My hands were trembling, I felt dizzy and my heart was racing. I shared the translation job with my friend, Kenya, and each year it seems like we become more connected without ever hanging out together. Kenya, if you read this post, I'm so sorry I never make a time for us but you should know that you are a dear friend in my heart. We talked about many things not just that stupid job LOL.

I felt like the manager which previously a dear friend -- tried hard to break me down but I managed to look calm ( I was not acting, I hate to look dramatic.) She knows what I face in life so I made a conclusion she did this on purpose and that she enjoys oppressing people. I don't care if I'm wrong. But it is something special how we are connected with people when we are down. Every little kindness I received during hard times -- I appreciated it and I will always remember those sweet things people did to me. Like when Nabilah and Sari gave me birthday present (a watch and a lipstick), when Mr.One took over my class because I was busy working out things with Nabilah, when my sister transferred some money to help me pay school. Actually it's not material gifts that touch me, but the emotional support I feel in every little thing people do. Your company when I'm down, your jokes when I am about to cry, your positive words, everything counts.

And so yeah, my dance days were precious to me -- times where I just focused on doing the dance, not to anything else. Times to get lost, times to be somewhere deeper in my name -- not me in the office, not me in campus. My shoulders feel light when I dance, no burden.

May 16 was the day I waited, the day we would perform what we have practiced. We will have a showcase in Taman Ismail Marzuki, my home! My Institut Kesenian Jakarta, a house of raging artists. Scary! "RANJANG" people will be there, dance artists will be there, and who am I? Just a beginner. A dance enthusiast. I was thrilled!!!

That day was so special. After work (yea you know I work on Saturday) I cut my hair at the salon, and then I got to meet my dear friend Adisti! We had a date at Lot 9, such a soothing and nice place.

We laughed a lot. She hates how I can imitate my workmates teaching styles, to report her how is it going there. Pokoknya cerita hal biasa bisa jadi koplak banget kalo ceritanya sama Disti. Entah dia yang ga tahan dengan caraku bercerita atau aku yang takjub dengan komentar-komentarnya. Terus aku dikenalin sama pacarnya, namanya Mas Agung. Dia bawain Puyo pudding. Terus aku dianter ke Bxchange, karena mau bareng Tiwi berangkat ke TIM.


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